So sad

[heididly]

G'morning.  I couldn't sleep again because of the worries that fly thru my head and again I am on the internet looking for answers; some miracle to help my daughter in school.  I am new to this site; only found it this morning and reading some of your stories has made me so sad and almost cry...for all of your pain and for the sheer hopelessness of the children's fears.  The length some of you have gone to are amazing; you have trudged thru mud and went against mountains and still your children suffer. 
My daughter is in grade 5 and school has only been underway for not even a month and again I find myself deep in the bullying that is present in her school.  Parents have pulled their children from this school (this past year enrollement went from 400 to below 200)you would think some1 would see why.  Parents have gone to the school board; we have gone to the alberta education minister; we have even talked to the teachers and the principle...it remains the same.  It is now a well known fact that the child who complains to the teacher is labeled the "tatler" and is blamed for the incident.  The root of this awful mess is the principle of the school...he will do nothing; he turns a blind eye to it all; he is the gym teacher and gym class is now the worse class to be in for all the grades.  My daughter used to love gym class and now looks to it with fear because this is the class the bullies get free reign and she usually gets it...it's bad when her fellow classmates defend her and the principl/teacher will not.
Monday morning I will speak to the principle (he doesn't like me because I am the squeaky wheel)...but what will this do?  Get my daughter a day or 2 of peace?  The school board will do nothing.  The education minister of our province turns away.  I want to pull my daughter from this school and put her another here in town; she cries and says she doesn't want to..."please don't make me; I'll get tougher"  Heavenly Father what am I to do? 
Thank-you for letting me vent, I will keep going, I will not stop...just sometimes the nightmares get to you.

[Hetty]

Dear "Heididly"

This response to your letter came from a friend in the USA... I hope it will be helpful to you.

Are the school board meetings are broadcast in Alberta like they are in some places?  The fact that the school's numbers have declined so dramatically makes me wonder why the issue hasn't gotten more attention by the local press....how do they account for the drop in enrollment?  I guess the other question would be, where are all the other kids going to school?  How many teachers have been re-assigned based on the dropping enrollment?  Has the teacher's union gotten notice about what is going on? 

I wonder if the school has someone like a guidance counselor who holds the 'heart' of the school and could do some social/emotional rather than punitive-type interventions?   

Your daughter's unwillingness to want to change schools is understandable, just because kids always want to stay with their friends...I wonder if you could convince the parents of a couple of your daughter's closest friends to move their girls to the same new school at the same time?  That might make your daughter more willing to move, but it won't solve the overall problem for the kids whose parents leave them at the school.  It makes me wonder if you should move your daughter, and then see if you could get the teachers association to make a complaint on your behalf.

Other possibilities might include getting a petition for the board to act via a "letter of concern"  signed by you and other parents....it would be better than approaching them as a single parental voice.

It depends on whether you want to burn all the bridges and bring the press into the story.  School boards hate to look ineffective in the eyes of the public....if you want to go "all in", writing an editorial in the paper or bringing in TV reporters, newspaper, etc. might be an option....but by then, it would be best for your daughter to be in a different school, for sure. 

The one thing I would definitely recommend is that you construct and maintain a running log of your contacts with the school and the outcome of each meeting or phone call.....data speaks louder than opinion, right?  A long log of dates, conversations, complaints, and inactivity speaks volumes, in case you ever need to have it.

I do hope that your daughter gets some relief...."Getting tough" isn't a great option.  I'm sorry for your trouble and that of your daughter....who knows, maybe this experience will prompt your daughter to make effective intervention for the mistreated a life mission?  If she can avoid "getting tough", she could use her hard-earned empathy to
motivate a lot of positive action in the world.

A supporter