Sam and the Goodwill Sandwich

[Hetty]

It is never easy teaching our children how to solve problems with others!  It is a challenge for all of us to understand the needs of others, express our own needs in a positive way, and negotiate solutions that work for everyone.  Jon and ‘The Goodwill Sandwich’ was written in an attempt to give parents and teachers a way of introducing this type of thinking to the young people in our care.

The core idea of the story is that people of all ages will be more interested in problem-solving when they trust the motives of the other person involved in the issue.  All conflicts involve both the issue itself AND the relationship between the people.  Most of the time, the facts get far more attention than the relationship, with the result being that the problem can appear to be solved, but the relationship can suffer in the process.

The Goodwill Sandwich technique asks the speaker to wrap the facts of a situation in layers of goodwill, clarifying the issue while also articulating the desire for a positive relationship.  The top and bottom pieces of ‘bread’ convey the recognition that the other person is valuable; the ‘filling’ of the sandwich is a description of the facts.  The heart of the technique is a balance between the factual and emotional needs of the situation. 

Included with the story is a guide for parents, as well as a guide and lesson plan for teachers.

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